When I say I hated high school, I hated high school. 

This past year has been the hardest year of my life. Your senior year is supposed to be the easiest and the most fun, but for me it was the complete opposite, plus worse. This year I was bullied by a group of my classmates making getting up everyday and coming to school very hard for me. I struggled staying in class and focusing on my school work due to the severe anxiety I felt from those around me. I often found myself texting my mom to please dismiss me because the people at school made me feel unworthy and stupid. This year was not at all how I expected it. I was excited coming into high school with a lot of friends however I’m leaving with a lot less. 

Although this year was the worst year of my high school experience I learned a lot from these experiences. I learned how to hold myself accountable, and take responsibility for mistakes I have made. I learned what it feels like to only have yourself to count on. I’ve grasped the understanding of comparison and judgment from those around me, and how to accept it and let it go. But most of all I’ve experienced the uncomfortable and ugly parts of what it means to be in high school. And to say that I’m glad it’s over is an understatement.

This year has taught me that it’s okay to lose people that you thought you’d be friends with forever. It’s okay to drift away from people that you would’ve never imagined drifting from. It’s okay to branch out and find a new group of people, and most importantly it’s okay to be who you want. One thing that’s stood out to me this year is that people are always going to be mean and judgemental, and jealous. But I’m okay with that, because through these experiences I’ve found out who I really am. I’m a kind hearted, selfless, and genuine friend. I care deeply about those around me and have a huge amount of empathy for my peers. I know now to not let someone’s opinion of me ruin my life and bring me down with them. I’m proud of myself for everything that I’ve overcome even though it was extremely challenging. Everything happens for a reason and I’m now able to see that with clear eyes. 

It feels like just yesterday that I was stepping foot into high school as a scared 13 year old freshman who had no idea what the next four years would hold. 

I was unsure about joining journalism as a freshman, I knew the class was filled with upperclassmen who had been there quite longer than me, and the thought of that terrified me. I had a brief understanding of the class, as my brother was a part of journalism his four years of high school. He pushed me to take the class, told me I would love it, and surely enough, I did. My freshman year I was quiet in the class, very timid that I might say the wrong thing or answer the question incorrectly. But even if that did happen it was okay because our teacher, Mrs. Stoker, made sure that everyone felt included. 

Mrs. Stoker I want to thank you for always pushing me to do my best and branch out, even when I felt intimidated. I appreciate all that you have done for me and for my brother in the past years. I cherish the memories from my freshman and sophomore years with you, all the times you said “sugarplums” when you forgot something, and most importantly how you taught me the significance of standing up for what you believe in.

Our junior year, we were introduced to our new teacher, Ms. Conrad. Ms. Conrad I want to thank you for always believing in me and making sure I knew I could talk to you about anything. You’re the teacher I didn’t know I needed this year and for that I thank you so much for always being there, not only a teacher but a friend. 

I want to thank the whole Westborough TV crew for always being a smiley face when we walk into the studio. Mrs. Henderson, thank you for encouraging me to put myself out there and be the best version of myself that I could be. I appreciate all you’ve done for me and all the anchoring strategies you’ve taught me. I now love to be on camera,thanks to you!

Mrs. Papetti, I want to thank you for being the realest and most caring teacher I know. You make it so apparent that you care so much about each and every student and it does not go unnoticed. Your time and effort put into each and every one of us is so appreciated and I don’t think I would’ve gotten through this year without you. 

Next I want to thank my brother, Matthew. Thank you for pushing me to take this class, even when I felt uneasy about it. Without your help and guidance I wouldn’t have met all these wonderful people and formed relationships with these teachers. I hope to continue to write and be as good as you one day. 

To my Dad, I am so lucky to have had you by my side these past four years and having the ability to talk to you whenever I needed to. Having you at school with me each and every day is something I’ll miss forever. 

And lastly to my best friend, Mom, I want to thank you for being the wisest, most selfless person in my life. I have learned more from you than I have from anyone and I have an immense amount of gratitude for our bond and relationship. I love you more than anything and I appreciate all you’ve done for me. 

I acknowledge what it means to have real, loyal friends, someone who doesn’t judge you even at your lowest, someone who is there for you when you can only give 20%, and someone who puts you before them. I’ve found myself finding new friends and reconnecting with the old and I can confidently say I’m leaving high school with three real friends. And to all of you reading this, that might seem embarrassing or lonesome, but if I can count my friends on one hand, I think I’m all set. 

If I had to give you any advice it would be to not let what others say about you take away from the real you. You are so much more than someone’s version of you, and take it from me, you will come out the other side such a stronger person. 

For the last time ever this is Hannah Willar signing off for The Lobby Observer