Shannon Power Photography

I’ve been thinking about what I wanted to say in my senior testimonial since I was a freshman. Every year there was always one that really got to me. I hope I can be that one for somebody.

Ironically, I drew a blank on what to write until a few days ago: I’m going to write about my experience. I am by no means telling anyone what to do, I am just sharing my journey. As someone who seems rather put together, this is to show that I wasn’t and still am not always like that.

When I was 12, I developed anorexia nervosa after my grandpa –who was also my best friend at the time– died. I had extreme anxiety at that time as well, but anxiety was always something that was part of me since I was little. I didn’t even know I was dealing with it until I was told that it wasn’t normal to have random “guilt guts”. If there’s one quality about me that pretty much anyone can get right away, it is that I am wicked stubborn when I want to be, so recovery was difficult. Thankfully my family never gave up on me. 

Fast forward to my freshman year: my eating disorder was much better, I was in therapy; I was healthier. I was the typical chronically stressed, type A, overachiever. But then the pandemic hit, and as for all of us, it was detrimental to me physically and mentally. With so much time on my hands, I worked out like crazy, falling back into old patterns. My anxiety was also raging, making my head a bad place to be. This led into my sophomore year which was honestly my worst year besides that seventh-grade year. My anxiety was at an all-time high: I couldn’t turn my brain off and couldn’t stop moving. Ever. Because I literally couldn’t stand to be in my head, I started medication to help my anxiety. Medication doesn’t cure anxiety nor does it take your personality away — it just calms your brain so it isn’t as loud. Junior year was pretty good because of that. But this year was the year of serenity for me.

Here are some things I’ve learned/implemented along the way:

1. Everything happens for a reason. Even if you don’t reap the benefits or if you don’t know the reason.
2. Some things are explanations not excuses. You can understand why someone does something but that’s not a free pass for what they did.
3. Try to always have at least one thing that you know will make you truly happy, preferably that doesn’t rely on another person.
4. Be comfortable (even love) being by yourself. 
5. AP Lit required us to keep a journal of whatever we wanted (writing, pictures, etc) for extra credit. Of course I did it because I’m an overachiever, and it ended up being the best thing for me. I highly recommend it for overthinkers because it just gives you a space for your thoughts instead of having to hold onto them in your head.
6. I still see my therapist and I am a firm believer that everyone should go to therapy. 
7. Hold the door for the person behind you. No matter how far behind they are.

The most important thing to note is this was a process. I truly hope everyone can reach a point where they feel serene within themselves. Coming from someone who was the farthest thing from it for so long, it is not a linear process nor is it easy. I wouldn’t be here without the people in my life, which is where I will segway to my thank yous.

First to my Mum: I want you to know I appreciate all that you do. You’re the reason I am a strong, independent woman and I strive to be more like you in so many ways. And thank you for giving me my love of the beach: there truly is no greater gift. I love you.

To Dad: Thank you for always answering when I call (both literally and figuratively). And thank you for the numerous late night sports discussions — I don’t know if I’d be playing without you. I don’t say it enough, but I love you.

To the aunts and my sisters: you guys have played such a large role in shaping who I am and who I want to be. Thank you for pushing me to be a better version of myself.

Ranger Volleyball: It wouldn’t be right without acknowledging you. You helped me solidify who I want to be, and for that, I am forever grateful. Oh, and did you know we’re STATE CHAMPS?!

To my friends: Emily Claire, what would I do without you keeping me balanced? I’ve loved growing up with you; you’ll always be family to me. Maggs: your heart is too big for this world. And to everyone else I didn’t mention: I really wouldn’t be here without you. I truly believe I carry a little bit of you with me as you do me. I am so grateful for everyone I’ve come across in life so far and wish everyone the best of luck in the future. Know you can always reach out if you ever need anything.

To Mrs. S: You’ve given me so much: journalism, advice, a safe place, and an environment where I could thrive. I am going to miss you so incredibly much, and really, thank you for your unconditional support.

Finally to Pa: I would not be who I am without you. You taught me the values I will always live by and more importantly, taught me about love. I wish you were here to share my current and future adventures, but I know you’re beaming with pride. Save a deck of cards so I can beat you in a hand of rummy later. I love you.

Thank you for joining me today, reporting for The Lobby Observer this is Shannon Clark signing off.